30 Jun We Asked People What It Means to Be a Man in Modern Society

Growing up is hard. Suddenly, you go from being a carefree adolescent to getting slapped round the face with council tax bills, paying extortionate amounts to keep your flat heated. Behind all of this, there is also the question of how you are meant to behave. Being an adult means different things to different people, and in particular, what it means to be a man is something there is never going to be a definite answer to.

Masculinity and the concept of being a man are becoming hotly-discussed subjects across the media. In the United Kingdom, men are nearly four times more likely to kill themselves than women. A total of just over 6,000 people committed suicide in 2013, and 78 percent of those were men. These numbers are harrowing, not to mention deeply concerning.

Many people, including Dr Martin Seager, a consultant for the London branch of the Samaritans, whose work focuses on male psychology, says that the statistics can be traced to the way we are expected to behave. “Women are, in general, more prepared to seek help and show their distress. A female attempt is often closer to a cry for help, hoping for a response”. Typically, the male is seeking a different outcome. According to Seager: “when he makes a suicide attempt, he doesn’t want anyone to hear it, he wants to succeed.”

This “shut up and get on with it” behaviour in men has been seen as one of the key reasons why so many commit suicide every year. It is the highest killer in males under the age of 45, and to put it simply, young men don’t feel like they can talk to anyone about their feelings.

I spoke at length to my close and extended friendship group who range from the ages of 22 – 30, as well as men and women from all other walks of life see what they think it means to be a man, and why they think male suicide is so common.

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