06 Sep Tinder Date Ends In Disaster After Woman Gets Stuck In A Window Trying To Retrieve Her Own Poo

First dates are never easy. When you’re full of nerves, you behave in strange ways that really can only be explained as the “first date jitters”. Nobody knows that more than this woman from Bristol, England after her Tinder date ended with her stuck in a window frame whilst trying to retrieve her own poo. You really couldn’t make this up…

Liam Smyth was left stunned by the incident, but also penniless after he was quoted £300 to replace the broken window. So, he did what any rational person would, and launched a GoFundMe page to raise the funds. Little did he know that his extraordinary story would go viral and earn him not just money, but fame.

Is this the filthiest Tinder date to ever have occurred? Buckle up, this story is a serious ride…

Smyth, being the gentleman that he is, took his date to Nando’s – a popular chicken chain in the UK. They enjoyed a great evening together which prompted Smyth to invite the anonymous girl back to his house “for a bottle of wine and a scientology documentary.”

However, after about an hour of “Louis Theroux and chill”, his date excused herself to use the toilet. This is where things start to become a little sticky…

After a while, Smyth’s date returned with a look of sheer panic in her eyes. Concerned, Smyth listened whilst his date explained the cause of her stress. This is where things get outrageously interesting…

“I went for a poo in your toilet”, Smyth’s mortified date told him, before embarrassingly adding: “It would not flush. I don’t know why I did this, but I panicked”, she continued “I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window”.

You may wonder why the panic stricken date decided to tell Smyth about the situation. Surely, she could run down to the garden and hide the offending object and act as if it never happened?! But, just when you thought the horrifying situation couldn’t get any worse, it does. Smyth’s bathroom window isn’t your conventional window:

“Unfortunately, owing to a design quirk of my house, the toilet window does not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, [separated] from the outside world by another (non-opening) double glazed window. It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo.”

In the darkness, his date had not realised that the window does not in fact lead into the garden. Meaning that, her faeces was now trapped in the small slither of a space between the two windows. To add insult to injury, the window does not open as a window should, making the rescue of her “offending package” almost impossible.

However, desperate to correct the situation, Smyth’s date took matters into her own hands and attempted a drastic rescue mission…

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