21 Jun The 10 Types of Sex All Lazy People Have Had

Lit candles, rose petals, lingerie, wine, and some music to set the mood; maybe something with a saxophone. You stare deep into your partner’s eyes, and two bodies become one as the chorus of Gerry Rafferty’s Baker Street swells in the background, the room nearly shaking with the passionate expression of your love. For some people, that’s an example of a extremely sensual night of copulation, but deciding to get it on isn’t always as dramatic as that Marvin Gaye song would have you believe.

I think building an elaborate erotic atmosphere every time we want to get between the sheets with our partners is just way too much work. I like sex as much as the next guy or girl, but I’d also like my partners to love me for me, and sometimes, that means embracing my natural tendency towards idleness and having sex with the least effort possible. If you’re a lazy person like me who sometimes can’t be bothered with all that romance, then you might recognise a couple of these streamlined lovemaking techniques.

1. The horizontal no-pants dance (when you’re too tired to be doing anything other than lying down)

2. The fully-clothed quickie (because you’ve still got plenty to do that day)

3. Shower sex (for when you want to be dirty and clean at the same time)

4. Sex on top of a towel (because laundry day was yesterday and I’m not washing another set of sheets)

5. Stopping at oral so you both don’t get too tired

6. Pausing the show you’re watching so you can finish it once you’re done

7. Sleepy sex, for when you want to forgo all the procession and get to the point

8. The missionary position (when the desire is there but the imagination is not)

9. When you’re a blank canvas for your partner’s lovemaking (because you’re too tired to move)

10. Sweater sex (because sometimes it’s more important to keep warm)

In my opinion, some of the best moments in a relationship come in those mundane Sundays; where both of you are too tired or lazy to do anything other than hang about, and engage in some casual coupling activities. They may sound kind of boring to the outsider, but lazy sex is a great way for couples to get even more comfortable and intimate.

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