12 Jul If You’re Messy, Always Late And Swear Profusely It Just Means You’re Super Smart

At last, the news I have been waiting for: If you swear a lot (f**k yeah), are always late (guilty) and are messy (it’s organised chaos, okay?), it turns out that you’re pretty clever (I know).

Let me give you an insight into my life; I swear profusely, especially when I’ve had a drink. Some would say my vocabulary is “colourful”, others would say it’s “interesting” and many people have called it “disgusting”. To put it into context, I use f**k or f**king in pretty much every sentence that comes blurting out of my mouth.

Rather than saying “Mom, thanks for that dinner, it was really nice”, I’m much more likely to say “thanks for that, mom, it was f**king tasty”. My desk is usually a mess as well, once I’ve arrived to work I pour everything out of my pockets and onto my desk.

There is no method to my madness, but I will know exactly where everything is, even if it looks like I don’t. I am also a sucker for running late, my mates tell me to meet at 1pm, knowing I’ll be there at 2pm. I will text them saying I’m nearby, when really I resemble something similar to this:

So, when I saw the news that my disorganised and chaotic existence might be the sign of me being a closet genius, you can imagine I was absolutely buzzing.

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