07 Feb 11 Of The Worst Things Men Have Said To Women After Sex

Sex is great. Okay, I take that back. Sex with a partner who knows what they are doing is great, but, as is the case with so many things in life, most of us have a few false starts before we finally appreciate just how amazing getting down and dirty can be.

We live in a world where we are exposed to more sex than ever before, however, this hasn’t helped men be any more tactful when it comes to their post-coital statements. For a lot of women, sex is a big deal, and there are certain things that they do not want to hear afterward.

Here are 11 of the worst things that men have told women after sex. At least their pain can bring us a little joy now!

1. Have you been ‘snowballed’ before?!

“I’ve had a guy come on my chest, which was fine- we were using the withdrawal method- but then lick it all up and try to put it in my mouth. I put my hand over his mouth and asked, ‘What are you doing?’ He said, ‘It’s called a snowball. Haven’t you ever heard of a snowball?’ I said, ‘Err, no.’ Then he just swallowed it. The next time we had sex, he did the same thing but didn’t put it in my mouth. I asked, ‘Do you like the taste of it?’ He said, ‘Yeah, especially after I’ve eaten pineapple. It’s really sweet.’ Oy. Apart from that, he was really great in bed!

 – Elly K

2. Here’s hoping this guy never got laid again

“The very first time I ever had sex, he held up the used condom and said, ‘Souvenir?’ I wasn’t in love with him and the sex was bad, so I was already feeling crummy before he said that. I didn’t say anything and just tried to pretend it never happened.”

– Marni S

3. Nobody likes a post-coital ghoster!

“I was seeing someone as a rebound after a breakup with an ex I really loved, and I actually started to fall for the new guy. He was so sweet and told me he really liked me, so when he whisked me away on a trip to a B&B one weekend, I was down. We’d been dating about a month and hadn’t had sex yet, so the afternoon we arrived, we got straight to it. We’d bonded more on the drive over and it just felt right. Imagine my surprise when, right after we were done – or he was done, rather – he looked at me and offered up the biggest effing red flag ever: ‘Did you know that after orgasms, men want to run away? That’s, like, a biological fact.’ I honestly can’t remember how I responded, but I shouldn’t have been surprised when he ghosted me about a month later.”

– Kim C

Ghosting is a very modern phenomenon, and, let’s face it, if you’ve ever explored the not-so-magical world of Tinder, you’re probably guilty of it. But it’s one thing to ignore WhatsApp messages from someone you’ve never met, it’s another to use someone for sex and then suddenly disappear. You might have other matches to be getting frisky with, but that doesn’t give you the right to hurt someone’s feelings.

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