27 Jul Guy Told He’d Won $1.2 Million From “Mark Zuckerberg” Has A Hilariously Savage Response

It’s often said that if something is too good to be true, it probably is, and nowhere is that more apparent than on the internet. It doesn’t matter what website you’re using, either. Scammers are out to get you, and even for the relatively tech-savvy amongst us, they can be difficult to spot, especially if someone goes to the effort of catfishing someone romantically. It’s no wonder then that countless ordinary – and seemingly sensible – people have been left out of pocket in their search for the one.

However, not all scammers go to the effort of creating an elaborate and convincing profile on OkCupid. Oh-no. Some of them are a lot less cunning. Take scam emails, for example. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been contacted by lawyers of my “distant relatives” looking to pass on my sizable inheritance – providing, of course, that I send them my bank details first.

Because of the volume of scammers out there, the stupid ones are easy to spot, and when NHS nursing assistant Tom Sheerin from Liverpool, England, received a Facebook message from a man named Michael Austin, he soon realized something was up.

“Hello, How are you doing today??” wrote Michael.

Like any reasonable social media user, Tom was polite, at first, and tried to work out who Michael was – after all Facebook is famed for its ability to reconnect people who’ve lost touch. “I’m good thanks you?” he wrote. “Do I know you sorry?”

Michael then revealed that he was a messenger from none other than Mark Zuckerberg and wrote, “No I was authorized to contact you by the CEO of Facebook and he asked me to pass some vital information to you about your Facebook account.”

“Oh right,” replied a bemused Tom.

“Before I proceed have any of our staff informed you about your winnings?” questioned Michael.

Spotting an opportunity to troll, Tom decided to humor the scammer and wrote, “Not yet, but I’m expecting a call any minute.”

“Ok we are sorry for the late announcement,” apologized Michael.

Tom shared pictures of his bizarre and quite frankly legendary exchange with Michael on social media, writing, “Decided to have a little fun with someone trying to scam me on Facebook, kept him busy for about 2 hours.”

“How much have I won?” he asked Zuckerberg’s unlikely henchman.

“The random selection was held few days ago and you were selected with the 10 Lucky winners whom won the Sum of 1.2 Million Dollars and also the Jeep Given to you by the State Federal Government..I will like to know you ready to claim your winnings by following my Rules and Regulations in other to get your winnings.ONCE AGAIN CONGRATULATION!!!! [sic]” replied Michael.

Tom then hilariously quoted the 1996 movie Jerry Maguire and wrote, “Yes please ‘Show me the money’.”

Not wanting Tom to question the scam, Michael happily obliged. “That is the money and the assurance letter ok,” he wrote alongside a picture of countless hundred dollar bills in a box.

This was then followed by a bizarre screenshot about a Facebook lottery, assuring Tom that it was very much a legitimate win.

Playing along like a true first-class troll, Tom then asked why his money was in a cardboard box, “That’s a lot of greenbacks, may I ask why it’s in cash in a cardboard box, will that be sent to me like that?”

Completely oblivious to the fact that he was being played, Michael replied, “Yes you Winnings will be deliver [sic] to you by the FedEx delivery company ok. It will be delivered to you at your doorstep.”

As anyone who has ever played a prank knows that the more ridiculous it is, the better.

Tom decided to see just how much he could mess with Michael and wrote, “If I’m not at home will they leave it with a neighbour, I may be out as I do a lot of charity work with the local prostitutes, but I wouldn’t want to miss out on my prize, that money would replace a lot of missing teeth.”

It was at this point that Michael, instead of realizing that he was being played, thought that Tom had fallen for his scam and began to ask for personal details including his phone number and email address. Oh, and he wanted them immediately.

Tom then replied, “Do you need my home details or the address of the prostitutes?”

“Your home details and the address of the prostitutes ok,” wrote Michael. “With your phone number and gmail address”

The scammer was then insulted in the most English way possible when Tom revealed that he lived at “69 Bell End” and that his Gmail address contained the name of one of the UK’s most notorious sex offenders, Jimmy Savile.

As for Tom’s phone number, he wrote, “I don’t have a telephone at the moment it was stolen by one of the prostitutes I mentioned earlier is that OK[?]”

After receiving this information, Michael continued the rouse that he was genuinely excited to be handing over the cash and after asking Tom his age, he wrote, “I will like to know if you are fully ready to claim your winnings??”

The prankster then hilariously replied, “I’m 38 right now, but I used to be 27.”

At this point, it was very clear that Michael did not have a good understanding of the English language.

Not wanting to seem like a shady representative of Zuckerberg, Michael explained why he needed the money. “The FedEx is a profit making organization that needs to paid for the services they render, they are to do the delivery of your package to your delivery location and the Endorsement fee has been the same legit fee that our past winners have paid to get there packages delivered to them [sic].”

Tom continued to humor the scammer and wrote, “That sounds fair, do you accept PalPay?”

Despite the fact that Michael and presumably the “winnings” were based in California, he explained to Tom that if he sent over the money, the box would be whizzed across the Atlantic at the supersonic speed and be with him in five hours.

“No you will have to pay for the delivery fees that is what is delaying your winning ok,” Michael wrote. “And I want to know that after the payment your winnings will be delivered to you before 5 Hours at your doorstep ok.”

“That’s fantastic, I’ll contact the local office of FedEx immediately,” Tom enthusiastically replied.

It was at this point that Michael had to think of a way to stop Tom from contacting a legitimate FedEx office and wrote, “You have your own private FedEx delivery agent ok.”

“Oh OK so I shouldn’t contact the local office, Clarence usually delivers my prizes is he off sick again, this will be the third time he’s had parvo!” Tom replied, with the hilarious implication that this was not the first time he’d won a lot of money.

Confused, Michael wrote, “I don’t get you?? Did you want us to terminate your winnings??”

Tom then explained what he was going to use his winnings for, “No no of course not I was just concerned about Clarence, how to do I proceed I could really do with the money I have to pay for an operation on my piles so this would help a lot.”

What makes this exchange so baffling is the fact that Michael can clearly speak English, and despite the fact that he being trolled and getting his just desserts for trying to steal Tom’s money, he’s completely oblivious to what’s actually going on.

Trying to seal the deal with Tom, Michael then asked him if he was ready to send over the money, “Ok are you ready to pay for the delivery fees because your private delivery agent is ready to delivered your winnings to you after the payment ok [sic].”

To which, the hilarious Englishman replied, “Yes I’m ready, I have cash ready to pay, or do you accept Tesco clubcard? I have over 7 nectar points.”

“No. You will have to pay the sum of $500 after that your winnings will be delivered to you at your doorstep before 5 Hours ok [sic],” asserted Michael.

Tom then questioned the speed of this delivery, writing, “Is that 5 hours British time or American time?”

“If you can make the payment now your winnings will be delivered to you today ok. What is time over there??” Michael asked.

Tom wasn’t willing to make scamming him seem easy and explained that his money wasn’t going to be easy to transfer. “That’s fantastic, I have the money here waiting, it’s mostly in five pound notes because [I recently] had a birthday and have a LOT of grandmother’s [sic], is that OK? It’s ten past the four,” he wrote.

Still not realizing that transferring money entirely in notes would be difficult, Michael wrote, “Ok but are you ready to pay the 500 pounds you were ask [sic] to pay??”

“Yes of course, how to do I get this wad of fivers to you? Will someone collect it from Bell End?” Tom asked.

Determined to get Tom’s money, Michael then explained that he had to deposit the “wad of fivers” into a bank.

“No you are to make the payment via western union ok,” he wrote.

Wanting to keep Michael (although we can only imagine what his real name actually is) on the hook for as long as possible, Tom replied, “That’s about 20 fathoms away as the crow flies, it may take me a while to get there.”

“That is where you are going to make the payment ok,” Michael asserted.” You will have to find the nearest western union ok.”

Tom then replied with a brilliant Back to the Future reference. “OK Ill jump in the Delorean now and head straight there, will I have time to get a flux capacitor on the way? Should be fine as long as I can get her up to 80mph… Will an hour be too long?”

Don’t worry, I’m sick of reading Michael write “ok” too, but he clearly can’t help himself and wrote, “Ok you will have to give me your mobile number right now ok. Yes give it to me right now ok.”

“I’m not sure on the country code but it is 0151 709 6010,” Tom replied, presumably with a made-up phone number.

An impatient Michael replied, “Ok good are you still ready to pay for the delivery fees(500 pounds)??”

It was at this point that Tom then introduced a new character into their conversation and replied, “Yeah yeah I’m heading there now. Is it OK if Biff comes with me?”

“Who is biff??” questioned Michael.

“He’s a friend from school, well I say friend he kinda used to fancy my mum until dad hit him at the enchantment under the sea dance,” Tom replied.

Not wanting to get discovered as a scammer, Michael began to panic and sent Tom a message in all caps which began, “NOTE: YOU ARE ADVISED TO KEEP THE NEWS OF YOUR WINNINGS PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL.”

The scammer then, trying not to scare Tom away, asked if he understood.

“I won’t say a word, I can keep a secret don’t worry,” he replied.

“Don’t inform any one about these if you inform any one your winnings will be terminated ok. Did you got me Tom??” Michael wrote.

“Yeah I did go you, what is the account I pay my 500 to?? I don’t want to miss out,” Tom asked, pressing for more information.

“And I will send you the info you are to make the payment to ok,” Michael replied.

Y’know, for a scammer, Michael sure is taking his time about handing over details of the account he wants the money put into.

Surprsingly, the account name actually matched the one Michael was using on Facebook. Maybe he’s not a total idiot.

Actually, scratch that, anyone – even with poor English – who lets themselves get trolled like this clearly is an idiot.

“Ok my bad I went to the western approaches by mistake in croxteth, just gonna have a quick pint then I’ll go transfer the money won’t be long. Will the western union take cash or PalPay?” wrote Michael, explaining why he hadn’t yet sent the money.

Worried that Tom might tell someone that he was suddenly rich, Michael reminded him that he couldn’t tell anyone about his winnings, writing, “Don’t forget don’t inform any one there that they money you want to pay is for the delivery of your winnings ok [sic].”

Michael then replied, “I thought you said I must inform someone, I’ve told the local paper! They’re coming at 7pm to take photos and I’m getting my photo taken with Johnny Vegas and Jimmy Corkhill, what do I do?? I don’t want to risk my prize.”

Then it appeared that the game was finally up when Tom wrote, “F*ck off. Your winnings will be terminated ok.”

But surprisingly, this story was far from over.

“But I’ve just ordered a new car?” Tom asked, letting Michael know just how much canceling the win would affect him.

“But I told you not to inform any one I see you are not ready to claim your winnings,” Michael wrote.

“I thought we were friends,” Tom replied.

Michael wasn’t willing to get back on side and then threatened Tom with Zuckerberg himself, writing, “I will inform the CEO of Facebook and your private delivery agent that you are not ready. And your winnings will be terminated ok.”

“But I’m here now with the 500 Vietnamese dong, please give me one more chance,” pleaded Tom.

Not wanting to miss out on the cash, Michael then suddenly did a U-turn and told Tom that he couldn’t accept that currency. “You are to make the payment in pounds not in Vietnamese don ok,” he wrote.

“I’ve just had it exchanged in Thomas Cook, is dong no good?” Tom asked.

“No you are to use pounds ok. 500 pounds ok,” Michael replied.

Tom then decided to test the scammer to the absolute limit and tried to negotiate with him on the cost of the delivery fee.

“Is the price negotiable? I don’t have a lot of money, yesterday I had to use wafer thin ham instead [of] honey roast so I don’t think I can pay the full 500,” Tom wrote.

Evidently, Michael had forgotten that he had asked for this money to pay for a service by this point and replied, “Ok how much is with you right now??”

“I have £17.93 in cash but another £9.50 in my bank, if you can transfer me 50p that means I can take another tenner out,” Tom revealed.

The amoral Michael then suggested ways that Tom could get his hands on the necessary cash, asking, “Can’t you loan from your friends or bank??”

“Yeah but I’ll need a guarantor would you be willing to cosign an Amigo loan with me, I’ll pay you back out of the prize money,” Tom wrote.

To see other Facebook scammers get what they deserve, check out the video below:

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Having completely lost his grip on the English language, Michael replied, “What of that your friend he will ok[?]”

Now, like any marathon runner, Tom clearly realized that trolling Michael had to come to an end, and he decided to go out in a blaze of glory with one final side-splittingly hilarious joke.

“I already owe my friend a lot of money, he bailed me out when the Provident got a bit stabby when I fell three weeks behind on my payments,” Tom explained.

After investing so much time in the scam, Michael just wouldn’t give up and replied, “Tell him to loan you he will ok.”

“Will you call him for me? His names Phil Myass, he won’t answer my phone calls after an incident with a peperami,” asked Tom.

After giving Michael the number, Tom then made an incredible suggestion and asked Michael, “That’s great thanks, while we wait so you want to see a picture of a horse my son drew?”

Amazingly, the scammer said yes and appeared impressed by Tom’s son’s drawing.

“I’m so proud of him he’s only 17,” Tom wrote, before finally ending what is arguably the greatest troll of 2018.

Putting the hilarity of this exchange to the side, I think we can all agree that people like Michael deserve to be banned from social media. While Tom was smart enough to play the scammer at his own game, sadly, there are vulnerable people who could have parted with their cash in this way. So, if you’re reading Zuckerberg, it’s time to get scammers off Facebook for good!

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