09 Aug 10 People Share The Worst Ways Someone Has Tried To Turn Them On

I don’t think that it’s too controversial an opinion to say that sex is pretty great. It’s super fun, there are tons of health benefits, and if you’re doing it with someone you don’t completely despise, it can be a pretty enriching experience from an emotional standpoint as well. As awesome as sex can be, there are just some times when you just don’t want to.

Maybe you’ve had a long day or a bit of bad news. Perhaps you’re just not feeling it, but the right words or actions from a loving partner can soon get that engine purring, and before you know it, you’ll be aboard the Love Train calling all stations to Orgasm Avenue. The wrong words or actions, however, can have the exact opposite effect. Here are some of the worst ways, courtesy of this delightful Reddit forum.

1. Sometimes, something happens in the moment … but sometimes it doesn’t

“Asked my girlfriend at the time to say something dirty to me while we were getting started. So she climbs on my lap, we make out, she’s grinding on my lap, she kisses her way from my mouth along my jaw and up to my earlobe, then sexily whispered into my ear ‘I don’t know what to say’. I’m talking full on dirty talk voice. I honestly think she thought something would come to her by the time she got there. I laughed so hard she got mad at me and we didn’t have sex.”

2. Maybe a little too straightforward with her intentions there

“Long after the honeymoon phase wore off, my girlfriend often took to just saying ‘Do you wanna have sex?’ While it always made me laugh, I asked her if she could maybe be a bit more romantic about it. I’d meant, you know, kiss me or something, act like you’re actually into me. Her response was to, next time, look at me earnestly and say ‘Do you wanna make love?’ I laughed ’til I cried then clarified what I’d meant.”

3. I don’t imagine it did

“When I was in high school, a boy tried to play footsies with me. He later asked if it made me cream my panties. Nope.”

4. I mean, don’t you when you listen a song you dislike?

“This reminds me of the time, also in high school, when the guy I liked told me that Vanilla Twilight by Owl City makes every girl cream. I told him that I didn’t like Owl City so he played it for me and asked me if I creamed after. I did not.”

5. The mere fact that you call it that tells me you’re not ready

“A guy dated would always say he really wanted ‘tushy sex.’ Nothing makes anal seem more inappropriate and less sexy than calling it Tushy Sex.”

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